New York City, August 2010
#1. Brothers
You know my brothers, we can’t just stay here and do nothing. We gotta move our ass and find out what’s going on. Ominously, he didn’t call. I don’t like this. I really don’t like this. We’re the only family he’s got. We must react. His life could be in danger or something. He could be kidnapped, or tortured. I don’t know! He can be a sly fox sometimes and I’m sure he’s a fuckhead arrogant offensive bastard fox in his business. And, trust me, those guys down there, in the Financial District, they aren’t altar boys! We’ve got to get a plan. No choice. I’m not clever, I can’t have a plan set up for us, I’m not able to think hard and find out how we could save him but I’m ok to do whatever you guys are gonna say or propose. I have guns, you know, just in case. And I don’t mind using them neither. Anyway, they too deserve their time out to see the sun after this cold long winter. I could make a bomb if it’s useful, to open doors when we don’t have keys, or to protect our lives from bad people who could attack us. I got one with me, to take quick action if necessary. I already called some friends, really into, you know, in IT. They’re amazing! They can penetrate any network, infiltrate any organization you want. FBI, CIA, NSA/CSS, MI5, MI6, GDSE, FSB, Al-Qaida, whatever! And, I have a friend who can control a communication satellite or a research satellite! I’m not saying we’re going to need them. But we’ll be all set. Ready to fight anyone who could be not on our side! Jim was like a brother to me. I won’t let him down, and hopefully we’re in this together. I’m sure you think the same. You won’t let him down! Right? So let’s put every bit of information we have in the melting pot, and let’s see what we have got!
#2. Talkative
Ok. I’m really talkative. That’s a fact I can’t deny. And, of course, I’m not a good listener. My ex-husband left me because I was driving him crazy, talking all night and day long. I was the limit. When he left me, I decided to see a psychologist. Have you ever been to a psychologist? Some of them look so nasty! They’re freaky! You get so scared in front of them, voiceless, which was not a bad thing for me! But on the other hand was not efficient, because I was still talkative, as soon as I was out of their office. Finally, I found one. Good looking, charming I confess, blue eyes, beautiful pecs, beautiful shoulders. Exactly my type. But I guess he was everybody’s type. Anyway… We all know what meeting with a shrink is about, don’t we? We talk, we talk, and sometimes, he just asks one question. It’s supposed to make you dig into your past. So that was it. I talked, I talked, I talked, he listened, he listened, he listened. I’ve been seeing him for two years, twice a week, and I’ve had so much to say. I couldn’t stop. And still, I can’t. But my shrink told me that he had had enough of me. I was the limit. He said that too. He wanted me to stop my therapy. According to him, nothing could cure me and he recommended that I write down everything I needed to say. Which I did. But it’s not the same. It’s not like when you’re talking to somebody real. You know. You see the reaction on their faces, I mean the smiling faces, the kind looks. I can tell when people are keeping their ears opened, and I’m so moved, so touched, when I’m heard. Because it’s really tough. And that’s why I’m glad to be here with you. I guess, maybe, you were expecting me to say something else, but I need more time for this. I’m sorry.
#3. Teeny-weeny second
“Tick tock Diner”. At the intersection of the 8th Ave. and 34th street. I was there, waiting for him, Jim. Everybody called him Jim. I guess his real name is Jeremy but who knows? Anyway, I was at the “Tick Tock Diner”, ready to argue, to fight, to spit my deep and unbearable pain in his fucking face. I waited for that moment for a really long time. It was a tough decision to be made, a risk to be taken, because, I mean, I didn’t want to lose him. Even though a part of me felt ready. I guess the best part of me was ready. Ready to be strong, like my mom said ever since I was little: Every day, be stronger than the day before, especially with men! Anyway guess what happened? After five desperate hours of impatient waiting, he didn’t show. No Jim. Not one inch of his gorgeous body! He didn’t come. During all that time, I had those really bad thoughts. I can tell you that! Like: “Where the hell has this drop-out dead-beat fucking loser gone?” And afterwards, I thought he was scared of me, unable to face me, cowardly bastard. I didn’t want to give up, I wanted to stay still, I wanted to keep waiting, I wanted to be brave. Anyway I couldn’t. I was paralyzed in my chair at the Tick Tock Diner… But as the time was ticking by, a thought just suddenly came to me: “What a wonderful day to kill somebody”. But nobody came. Would I have had the strength to smash his head in? To pull the trigger? To steal his last breath from him while his blood spilt out of his mouth, and his eyes just looked at me, questioning me, just for a teeny-weeny second? That question, it still haunts me, every day, every night. And it will until I meet him again.
#4. The trader
Well, I wish I had gone out with him! But he didn’t go out, I mean, he didn’t go out, with anybody. I wasn’t the only one running after him. All of us were! We were so sad when he said he had to leave. It was like… you know, a crushed dream. He was so much fun. He always had a nice thing to say, he was really...
